Monthly Archives: April 2016

You may have heard of this before:

“As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.”

It can be a minefield talking to people on the internet. Some people fixate on the wrong thing. For instance just because you think that Captain Sisko has a cool beard doesn’t mean you agree with him positioning Solosos III. I’m using a fictional example so people don’t loose their minds.

Basicly useful discourse can be difficult.

I watched a video by Hannah Witton the other day:

I posted a comment on the video. Even as I pressed send I was thinking to myself that it might have been a bad idea. Here’s what I said:

I fall into the category of believing in equality but wouldn’t call myself a feminist. I’ll try and explain. Feminism as you or someone like Emma Watson describes it makes sense. However I have seen some feminists who seem to have a problem with woman making certain choices. They can’t accept that some woman want to; be strippers, take their husband’s name, look after the children, where the hijab and so forth. These choices may be born our of sexism but it doesn’t mean that woman can’t freely make that choice. This seems to be something that is often missed. For myself, if I was getting married, I would consider all options. She could take my name, I hers, we could make a new name for the union, or have separate names it’s all fine. But just because she chooses to take my name doesn’t mean she’s repressed. I hope I’ve expressed myself well here and not caused offense.

Then I waited…

I was delightfully surprised to have a positive response and a good and useful conversation.

In life we all but ourselves in to boxes. When we meet others we judge the by the box they’re in even if this is only on a subconscious level. If you imagine this as a Venn diagram some of those boxes will intersect. However for any box that we don’t belong to it is easy to confuse one voice from that box with the whole box.

A lighthearted example is this:

In Cardiff Bay there is a memorial to Ianto Jones. Ianto Jones is a fictional character. I have no problem with the memorial as it’s a bit of fun and a tourist attraction. However I’ve heard some Torchwood fans complain about it. They think that by having this it makes them look stupid. Thus to non-fans there may be a tendency to lump as all into the same box even though many of us agree its a bit silly.

The most extreme example of this is Islamaphobia. According to my googling .00006625% of Muslims are considered extreme. That’s it.

So why the Islamophobia?

Because talking about a billion Muslims going to the Mosque, worshiping, and walking home isn’t news.

So I guess I am a feminist. I just feel that the word has be come corrupted. The extreme feminists are almost as oppressive as the most sexist man – both sides are saying that woman should, or shouldn’t, make certain choices.

The point of this is that we all need to be free to make our own choices. Even if those choices are incomprehensible to others. As long as there is no coercion involved and an informed decision is being made there is really no issue.

I for instance don’t understand the appeal of Formula One. If there are no red shells, banana peals, or mushrooms racing is rather boring. If you want to spend hours watching a car go round in circles that’s fine. I’ll be in the next room reading, writing, or watching a TV show I’ve seen so many times I can say most of the lines from memory.

Or as the internet likes to say…

You do you.

***

I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

Sam and Alex stand at a bus stop. The screen that shows the bus times is broken. Timidly Sam approaches Alex and asks when the next bus is. Alex checks an app. The next bus will arrive in twenty minutes.

Fifteen minutes later the app shows that the bus has been cancelled. “Why don’t we get dinner?” Alex says.

Rather timidly Sam responds. “Do you mean… a date?”

“Yeah,” Alex smiles.

Sam smiles back. “Sounds good. But how did you know?”

“That you were gay? I was just hoping.”
Did your mind have to rework that story a bit? I simultaneously hope so and hope not. Before that last line you were probably imagining them as a man and a woman. Maybe some of you had Sam as the man and some of you Alex. Now you know – they are either both men or both women.

There are some, very stupid people, who have a problem with this. They think that having gay characters is a statement. It really isn’t. If I write a story with a couple I’ll just write. Sometimes they’ll be heterosexual and sometimes not.

I’m not gay and I count myself lucky. Not because there is anything wrong with it but because of all the crap that gay people have to deal with. This would is difficult enough with stress from work, family, school, and relationships. We have to worry about bills, house cleaning, and food shopping. And that’s only when you consider the first world. Imagine if finding food was your biggest issue. So with all this going on don’t add to people’s problems by telling them they can’t love who they love.

Ultimately it doesn’t effect you. There are only two times it would:

1. A gay person asks you out.
2. You ask out a gay person.

To the former just tell them you’re not interested – just the same as anyone else you weren’t interested in.

And to the latter so what? A rejection for that reason is no different that one for any other reason.

And if you’re a heterosexual man sitting their thinking that being gay is a problem. Let me put it to you like this:

You don’t want to sleep with a man. Is it really so hard to believe that some women feel the same way?

Or to put it another way…

Some people are gay…. get over it.

***

I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.