Monthly Archives: January 2020

2020-01-26 · 18:00

Concentrate

https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-wearing-gray-long-sleeved-shirt-374598/

I am sometimes bad at concentrating. There are so many things battling around my head for attention. I feel that now that I have standard days off it will help a great deal in being able to plan.

Today (Thursday) was a work day and an early shift. Tomorrow and Saturday are also early shifts so I can hit the ground running on my weekend by being up early on Sunday. (Which is today for you.) I am still struggling with the tense in these posts.

I had a bit of a wobble today of feeling profoundly sad. Feelings were going back and forth in my brain. They were feelings of loneliness and uselessness. At least having to work distracted me – the jury is still out on if that is a good or a bad thing.

Photo by Eugene Shelestov from Pexels

It is Sunday (1746) and the getting up early plan didn’t go over so well. Forcing myself to go to bed is something that never happens. Still I have had a productive day. I have been working on writing and am back to enjoying the process. I wish I didn’t feel apologetic for relaxing but I always do. I am off tomorrow too. Two days off together is invaluable. It is so much easier to get more done. Now if I could just figure out how to relax…

It is late again and I am tired again but I am not going to bed just yet. Even for me this would be too early. I am just going to sit and type, listen to music, and yawn every few seconds. Sounds like a fun evening doesn’t it?

I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

I have a Patreon page. I hope you will consider supporting this blog: https://www.patreon.com/unstableorbit

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2020-01-19 · 18:00

Sunrise

Photo by Sasha Martynov from Pexels

To the best of my recollection I have never seen a sunrise. Isn’t it supposed to be one of the most amazing sighs a person can see? And of course seeing it on a screen doesn’t count. This was in my mind just now as I thought about what to write here for this post. Today is the start of a new regime for me. I am no longer working Sundays – from now on Sunday and Monday will be my weekend and I am very hopeful that having the two days together each week will offset the disadvantages of working each Saturday.

It sometimes seems to me that life is a struggle to find the right way of doing things and perhaps a struggle that will never be won. I am constantly trying to figure life out. And each new plan creates a different problem! It is exhausting to keep trying but there is no choice but to continue. I have maintained this blog for a long time now. I am happy with that. And I wish the struggle would end so I could figure out my organisational skills.

In about an hour from typing this word I am going out to see family. It will be a nice day and a walk in the park which should help me to get out of my head – it is what I need as I am a bit restless at the moment – odd since I didn’t get enough sleep last night! I leave you with the hope that you are doing well and I will see you next time.

I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

I have a Patreon page. I hope you will consider supporting this blog: https://www.patreon.com/unstableorbit

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2020-01-12 · 18:00

The Cafe

Because I live alone I spend a lot of time alone. And so today I have decided to come to a cafe to write this blog entry. Sitting in a cafe on a table by myself is still alone but it is alone with people around me so it is less alone than being at home. There is something nice about not being in your own space once in a while. Perhaps it is being able to look at the groups of people. Perhaps it is that a home has so many distractions it is so easy to think that I should be doing something else.

I have apps for various cafe’s and I picked the one where I had got a voucher! It seemed like a good idea considering this month is a long month – in terms of pay it is five weeks – and I am not the best at managing money.

I have made a change to my work schedule that I hope will make things easier for me. I will now have Sunday and Monday as my days off – the downside is I have to work every Saturday but the up side is that I get a weekend of sorts. This makes planning easier – if I need a Doctor’s appointment put it on a Monday.

Other areas of planning a still difficult and I think that it is a challenge that will always be with me. At the moment I feel okay. I feel somewhat hopeful it is difficult to put a word to me feelings.

I often wish for a more normal mind – a mind that doesn’t get nervous at the slightest provocation but that is not the mind I have. I have a mind that gets nervous and worried for no reason – thus when there is a reason I can miss it.

Well my drink is finished which may mean I need to leave shortly. I had a Spiced Chai, I nearly always have that, and it was most enjoyable. There vary quite a bit between cafes but this one was nice.

I may be feeling a vague sense of hope for the future at the moment but there are always the dark moments.

There are also the yawning moments – I seem to be very tired now despite seemingly getting enough sleep last night. I guess it wasn’t enough.

I hope you enjoyed this post. I am still getting into the year and trying to see what is what – it appears to be taking a while. See you next time.

I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

I have a Patreon page. I hope you will consider supporting this blog: https://www.patreon.com/unstableorbit

Leave a comment

Filed under Mental Health, Productivity, writing

2020-01-05 · 18:00

And so it is 2020…

https://www.pexels.com/photo/flight-sky-earth-space-2166/

January always feels like a strange month to me. The year builds up to December. It feels like climbing a mountain. Then on new year’s eve we look back at the year gone and the year to come – the mountain behind and the mountain ahead – so to speak.

Photo by Abhiram Prakash from Pexels

We might look back at what we achieved. We might be disappointed at what we didn’t achieve. However the end of the year comes no matter what and we reach midnight.

https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-on-the-ground-with-a-red-black-and-white-parachute-68693/

So we dive off of one year and land before another year. Things feel possible again. If we didn’t get down to goal weight, exercise, read, write,or whatever enough maybe we will in the year before us. And all of this because the Earth has passed an arbitrary point in space.

https://www.pexels.com/photo/blue-universe-956981/

January is the start of the climb to the summit of a new year. A new story which we all hope will be better than the one before. I won’t share at this point my hopes for the new year as I am still trying to get my thoughts together on that. Well except for the obvious desires of happiness and health. For me they are both rather illusive things. I hope that you are happy and healthy in the coming year. I hope that this is the year your dreams come true.

I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

I have a Patreon page. I hope you will consider supporting this blog: https://www.patreon.com/unstableorbit

Leave a comment

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