Don’t Step on my Segues

https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-black-and-white-hoodie-665194/

The man on the train was speaking french. In a post Brexit world, after the vote anyway lets not open that can of worms, I should say that his speaking french is just a fact and not a complaint. It would be the act of utter idiocy to complain about someone speaking another language in any situation – especially as I was in Paris at the time.

Photo by Flo Dahm from Pexels

In french all I can do is introduce myself, ask if someone speaks English, and say ‘Thank you.’ So I had no idea what the man was talking about. All I know was he was standing up, speaking urgently with lots of gestures, and then sitting back down. Judging by the looks some of the other people on the train were giving him he was probably saying something about the end of the world. This happened eleven years ago. And the scary thing is I probably know about as much Klingon as I do french.

In case you didn’t know who they were.

What I know in Klingon won’t have helped. I know it is a fictional language don’t try and be clever. Since all I can really do is insult someone, express romantic interest, use sentences that are only usable in very specific circumstances, or declare today a good day to die.


Photo by slon_dot_pics from Pexels
This Cat gave me a Klingon vibe.

That is not unlike learning a language though is it? The specific sentences thing not the dying thing. When learning a part of the process to learn stock phrases so you can ask: ‘Where is the nearest chemist please?’ However you can only understand the answer if it on the right by the train station.

Photo by slon_dot_pics from Pexels

Back to the Klingons though. They have always been my favourite race in Trek because of their directness. Go on a date with a Klingon and she bits you on the cheek… well at least you know she likes you… no that was not a misprint. That might be a problem. A date with a Klingon might lead to broken bones. For Klingons a novel like 50 Shades of Grey, which I have not read, would be different. Mr Grey’ sexual proclivity would be one of very tender and soft lovemaking. Not my idea, I read it in a YouTube comment.

Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels

Whereas we humans tend not to be so straight forward. For example: ‘I’m having a nice time.’ means ‘After today you will never see me again but I am too embarrassed to say I am not interested in you.’ and cancelling a date and saying ‘We’ll have to do it another time.’ means. ‘After today you will never hear from me again but I am too embarrassed to say I am not interested in you so I am just going to take ages to respond until you give up. I may have some issues.


Photo by: Inzmam Khan

I tend to prefer to be direct. I was talking to someone I work with about her boyfriend the other day. She said that she was surprised that it wasn’t obvious who it was. I said I wasn’t so good at picking up hints of things like that. There was more to it though. I have previously seen what I thought were signs of someone being interested in me and been way off. So if I had seen something between her and her boyfriend I would have dismissed it as me reading something that wasn’t there – as I have done with other friends. It makes me wonder if there has been someone who was interested but I was too oblivious to notice.

https://www.pexels.com/photo/clouds-engine-fast-iron-433301/

This post went on a weird journey didn’t it? In saying that I can link back to a trains in a completely unnatural segue. I am unlikely to become better at reading people any time soon. So my only option is to bumble along. If there is one thing I have learned from being in customer service… people are strange and that goes for all areas of life.

***
I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.  

I have a Patreon page. I hope you will consider supporting this blog: https://www.patreon.com/unstableorbit

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The Untitled Blog Post

A great song by my favourite artist.

It is Sunday. Once again I am writing this in the eleventh hour; actually I have eight hours until you will read this. I wanted to share this song with you a song I think I have shared it before.

https://www.pexels.com/photo/white-bed-comforter-212269/

I had trouble getting out of bed this morning. Maybe I was just tired but I was too alert to go back to sleep and too sleepy to get up. This happens to me sometimes. On a work day I can force myself to get out of bed – in that case other people are relying on me and I need to be somewhere. When it is just me though it is easy to just stay in bed.

I haven’t listened to this one in years but it was in my mind this morning.

So I was in bed. I looked at some YouTube videos I wasn’t really interested in and wished I was getting up. Does this happen to anyone else here? That you really want to do something but some how you just can’t make your body do it? In the end it took about two hours and even now I am still feeling groggy maybe the morning isn’t the best time for me.

Sometimes they play this song in work…on Sunday! Now isn’t that ironic?

I want to be a morning person. I have spoken here before about getting up at 0500 and the days when I have have been productive. However they are also days when I don’t get enough sleep. My grogginess is nothing to do with sleep, not that I am a doctor of course, but I have felt more alert on days of six hours of sleep than on some days of nine.

Rushing around indeed, Dido

The problem is I seem to be neither a morning or an evening person. I would love to do an experiment of what times I would do things if I didn’t know about time. It would mean having another person around to record what time it was.

Not really relevant but I am talking about time. (Plus this episode is excellent.)

With work we all have to fit in to the idea of mornings being the beginning. Now that is a weird turn of phrase but it is true. The stereotypical job begins at 0900 but some people don’t really feel like they’re capable of doing anything till later in the day. Perhaps it is because I work shifts but I have not yet figured out my best time to get my stuff done.

Yeah. Pretty much.

I have got some of my stuff done this week but there is still so much more to do. And without access to a time machine it won’t be possible. There are so few hours and so many more distractions. I am also the king of procrastination and sometimes even when I have been productive I am not happy about what I have done but annoyed at what I haven’t done. And… you have probably guessed it the gym was one of the things that didn’t happen this week.

I can’t wait to watch this with my nephew.

When I am feeling uncertain, sad, worried, lonely, concerned, or just thinking of a future that may never be there is always nostalgia. Watching a show you know well can be helpful because you know how it ends. I may not manage to figure life out, I may not get published, I may not have reciprocal love but International Rescue will always save the day.

Whoever you’ve been today; happy, sad, lonely, worried, tired, or energetic I hope you’ve have an excellent day and that your Monday isn’t too manic.

***
I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.  

I have a Patreon page. I hope you will consider supporting this blog: https://www.patreon.com/unstableorbit

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The Ramble of a Confused Man

Have you ever felt like this when Googling symptoms?

The internet is a wonderful thing in many ways but it can also cause many issues. One of them is the problem of Googling to find out what is wrong with you.

Rachel: I don’t know! I think it’s kind of serious! Oh, you know… I was watching this thing on TV this morning about… Newcastle disease… and I think I might have it!!
Charlie: Oh, Newcastle disease is a secretion borne virus that only affects chickens and… other poultry.

The One with the Soap Opera Party (Friends)

A person could spend half an hour googling and discover they have a disease thought to have been extinct, an appendix about to explode, and that they are pregnant. Which is especially concerning if they have already had their appendix removed and are male. The reality turns out to be that they drank too much alcohol and not enough water the night before.

https://www.pexels.com/photo/adult-care-cure-doctor-433635/

I had an idea for a science fiction story once. It was a world where doctors could simulate the patient’s condition in themselves. My reasoning behind this was that in doing so the doctor might be better able to prescribe the right medicine. After all we all conceptualise the universe differently. Even in a family you might disagree on if something is red or orange. When we used to play Uno with my grandmother she couldn’t see the difference between the green and the blue. More than that though mightn’t it be tricky to know what is a problem? The human body is going to hurt sometimes and we all have different pain tolerances. If a patient says the have pain in their arm there is really no way to know if that is something that will pass or indicative of something else.

Flanders and Swann (The Elephant)

In Star Trek they have the tricorder. I wish this thing existed in reality. I am not like the elephant in this song but it would still be great to have a doctor wave a device over me and know about all that was wrong mentally and physically – and how serious it all was? That technology is, at the moment, indistinguishable from magic as Clarke would say.

Photo by PhotoMIX Ltd. from Pexels

Sometimes googling symptoms might yield results. I think it can be a good first step but certainly not the last step. Until such time as we have magical scanning devices we just have to get by with how we feel and decided if we need further help.

I wanted to write this because I know there is something not quite right in my mind. I feel strange a lot of the time. I get upset over small things, I get stressed in situations that others can cope, I am slow where others are fast, I struggle where others do not. And none of this is to get sympathy, that is not what this is about, it is about the human condition.

Photo by samer daboul from Pexels

Fear and anxiety are the easiest emotion I can think of to explain what I an ineptly reaching for. Spiders don’t bother me at all. If I see one in my flat the most I would do is say: ‘Hi, Bert.’ Some people are terrified of them and it doesn’t matter if they know they are harmless. For myself I have difficulty with plans. When I go to work in the morning I will have an idea in my head of what I am doing that evening, even if it is just watching Netflix, and for me it is not such an easy choice if I am invited to the cinema after work – because I had plans.

That is the thing I really want to say from this rambling post. I think we all need to understand what others find difficult. I want to put an example here but I don’t want to offend or embarrass anyone. Some of my issues are weird even to me. Like feeling I shouldn’t have spent so much time on this post. Why? Because it wasn’t on the plan for today.

Maybe this post is too rambling. Maybe it doesn’t make all that much sense and it is just a bunch of words not in a good order. I don’t know. Sometimes things demand to be written. I needed to write it though and try, even if it only makes sense to me, to get somethings out of my brain and on to screen.

In closing I would just like to say I hope you are doing well with whatever fears and difficulties you are facing. And I am going to prove I leaned nothing from studying creative writing by ending on a cliche – ‘You’ve got this.’ Good luck to you, dear reader. Good luck too all of us.

***
I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.  

I have a Patreon page. I hope you will consider supporting this blog: https://www.patreon.com/unstableorbit

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Seven Random Thoughts because I Ran out of Time this Week

Cannot run out of time. There is infinite time. You are finite. Zathras is finite.

1. Infinity is a relative concept. This may not be true in a literal sense – I’m a writer not a philosopher. I was changing my mobile tariff today. It comes with unlimited text and unlimited calls. The data was not unlimited but since it is more than I have ever used in a month it might as well be.

2. A treat is only a treat if it is rare. I used to enjoy having a Chai latte when I came into town. Now so that I have been living in town for a while, and the coffee shop is fifteen minutes away, it has ceased to be special. It is probably why Cadbury’s, so the story goes, didn’t mind staff eating chocolate from their production line. They knew they would be tired of it sooner or later.

3. My leg has gone to sleep so I am writing this one between steps.

4. Brexit is a complete mess isn’t it? It is almost like watching an unfolding soap opera. Since I have foolishly brought up the subject I am on the side of remain. Hopefully we will have a conclusion one way or the other soon.

5. I am in the park and have found a rock to sit on. There are stones surrounding it and I am wondering how old this arrangement is. There is never a sign around when you want one.

6. The park is nice today. The sun is going down and the people are spread out so it is quiet. I like the quiet. The only thing that would make it better is if it was warmer. Maybe I am sitting too much in the shadows. I see a patch of sun. Let’s go and take a look.

7. I like summer and it feels like it is nearly here. I hope it is a good warm one. It will be nice to go to the park and the beach in glorious weather.

Blogging while walking is nice. It still feels relaxing even if I am holding a computer. I still have almost 2500 steps till I make my target so a bit more walking is in order. First though I am going to sit by those trees and schedule this post. See you next time.

***
I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.  

I have a Patreon page. I hope you will consider supporting this blog: https://www.patreon.com/unstableorbit

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Order and Chaos

Imposing your type of order…may prove difficult…

Odo (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – The Search)

I like the idea of having order in my life. That idea never seems to come to fruition which is down to my complete in ability to organise. It is not for lack of trying.

Kat Jayne – Pexels

I impose order on myself with my to-do list. I have discussed this here many times. Having that helps me keep track of what I want. It is true that each day I get stuff done so in one respect it works. However my brain likes to be contrary and focus on what wasn’t done rather than what was.

https://www.pexels.com/photo/food-salad-healthy-red-35613/

I use the pomodoro technique – or a bastardisation of said technique. Some of the tasks don’t take the traditional 25 minutes so I tend to set the timer for longer and move between tasks. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to wake up one day without a timer and without a to-do list. To me it would feel like climbing without a safety harness.

I’d be lost at sea. Adrift

James Bond (Tomorrow Never Dies)

Duolingo, Calm, and Headspace would all be done. They all keep a record of your streak and have a definitive end point. The end point for a book is the end of the novel and I can’t sit and read for 20 hours in one day.

Order verse chaos. Choose one.

The Shadows (Babylon 5: Into The Fire)

In Babylon 5 the characters had to find there way between the two extremes of order and chaos. That is the struggle I am trying to deal with and have been for so long. With order things get done but I am locked into the plan. With chaos things may still get done but I do not have that feeling at the end of the day that I have done enough. In actuality I don’t have that feeling anyway as my targets are too high.

Photo by Min An from Pexels

They say ‘shoot for the moon’ and that if you miss you will still be amongst the stars. It is a colourful metaphor and aiming high is certainly good advice but I am going to leave you with some wise words.

I’m no writer, but if I were, it seems to me that I’d want to poke my head up once in a while and take a look around… see what’s going on.

Captain Sisko (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – The Visitor)

The sad thing is it isn’t even writing that is engrossing me.

***
I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.  

I have a Patreon page. I hope you will consider supporting this blog: https://www.patreon.com/unstableorbit

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Assimilation

https://www.pexels.com/photo/access-adult-blur-business-261628/

A few days ago… well I say ‘a few days’ it might have been a week… actually more than a week… let me start again… I went out without my mobile!

https://www.pexels.com/photo/trees-grass-lawn-park-2336/

In today’s world this is a weird thing not to have this device with you. I would like to segue to another topic for a second if you’ll indulge me.

https://www.pexels.com/photo/cigar-cigarette-smoke-macro-70088/

Now and then, when I am out and about, a smoker will ask me if I have a lighter on me or a cigarette. I don’t smoke and I don’t often find the need to start a fire. What I find curious is that these people managed to forget either of these items. We often talk of technology as an addiction but it is not a literal one, at least not for most people, and yet I don’t think I have ever forgotten my phone. So I find it curious that someone with a literal addiction could forget. Then again it might not be a good comparison as I am someone who has to check his pockets, that the hob is off, that the fridge and freezer are shut, that the towel rack is off, and that the door is locked before leaving so I would be unlikely to miss anything.

Photo by Jiarong Deng from Pexels

Leaving the phone at home deliberately was an interesting experience. I realised how often I reach for it. Even while walking I will look at it just while waiting for the lights to change. I missed and didn’t miss it all at once. One thing that was weird about was not having it to take notes when an idea occurred to me. I have no idea what that idea was. I heard someone say recently that we are cyborgs – we just don’t have the tech inside us.

https://www.pexels.com/photo/adult-art-beautiful-beauty-235488/

Comic con was in town this weekend. I went along on Saturday. I discovered something interesting. This crowd of people didn’t bother me not like other crowds. Think I know why… these are my people.

https://www.pexels.com/photo/ball-shaped-circle-close-up-dark-414860/

In a place like comic con I am one of them. Normal might be too strong a word but I know that everyone in that place likes some element of fantasy or scifi. I’d also imagine that a lot of them have been teased or worse for those tastes. There is a sense of camaraderie.

In that place I can say I have a small fleet of model starships and not worry about a negative response. Were I able to start a conversation with a stranger the reaction would be positive. In that crowd I am still a short, overweight, long-haired man but everyone around me is fascinated by the same sorts of things that I am. For some reason I still care what others think even when I know they are probably not thinking them at all and when I ware my swagman hat then only thing that happens, and mostly it is nothing, is someone sings a few bars or the Indiana Jones theme!

***
I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.  

I have a Patreon page. I hope you will consider supporting this blog: https://www.patreon.com/unstableorbit

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February

https://www.pexels.com/photo/love-celebrate-valentine-happy-valentine-47396/

February ended three days ago. It already feels to me like this year is going quickly. They say that that is a common phenomenon as you get older. It has to do with a year and how it relates to a percentage of life. Which is why as children those 24 days of December always felt so long.

I made a quiet resolution to myself at the beginning of the year to try and do something significant every month – or to be more accurate 12 somethings over the course of a year. So far I can’t say that I have done that. I have switched back to using a note book and really using it and I think that that is going to help. Apps are not so good, in my opinion with helping with productivity. Too many times I find I need a feature it just doesn’t have – pen and paper can do it all.

Photo by Muffin from Pexels

I did have pizza the other day. That is, in a weird way, an achievement. You probably think I am clutching at straws, in a way I am, but let me tell you what I mean. I just wanted to go for a pizza and so I did. I made no attempt to justify it and I actually felt okay in a Pizza Hut alone.

Photo by Scott Webb from Pexels

That said I probably need to justify it given that I only went to the gym three times last month. I have no idea what is a reasonable amount of times to go; both in terms of getting my money’s worth and for it to be effective. It is certainly more that three though.

As I write this it is 0548 on Friday. I have an early shift today but I like the quite of this time of the morning. It makes me feel relaxed and getting to do something before work is a nice feeling indeed.

I hope you have all had an amazing day. See you next time.

***
I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.  

I have a Patreon page. I hope you will consider supporting this blog: https://www.patreon.com/unstableorbit

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