Don’t Step on my Segues

The man on the train was speaking french. In a post Brexit world, after the vote anyway lets not open that can of worms, I should say that his speaking french is just a fact and not a complaint. It would be the act of utter idiocy to complain about someone speaking another language in any situation – especially as I was in Paris at the time.

Photo by Flo Dahm from Pexels

In french all I can do is introduce myself, ask if someone speaks English, and say ‘Thank you.’ So I had no idea what the man was talking about. All I know was he was standing up, speaking urgently with lots of gestures, and then sitting back down. Judging by the looks some of the other people on the train were giving him he was probably saying something about the end of the world. This happened eleven years ago. And the scary thing is I probably know about as much Klingon as I do french.

In case you didn’t know who they were.

What I know in Klingon won’t have helped. I know it is a fictional language don’t try and be clever. Since all I can really do is insult someone, express romantic interest, use sentences that are only usable in very specific circumstances, or declare today a good day to die.

Photo by slon_dot_pics from Pexels
This Cat gave me a Klingon vibe.

That is not unlike learning a language though is it? The specific sentences thing not the dying thing. When learning a part of the process to learn stock phrases so you can ask: ‘Where is the nearest chemist please?’ However you can only understand the answer if it on the right by the train station.

Photo by slon_dot_pics from Pexels

Back to the Klingons though. They have always been my favourite race in Trek because of their directness. Go on a date with a Klingon and she bits you on the cheek… well at least you know she likes you… no that was not a misprint. That might be a problem. A date with a Klingon might lead to broken bones. For Klingons a novel like 50 Shades of Grey, which I have not read, would be different. Mr Grey’ sexual proclivity would be one of very tender and soft lovemaking. Not my idea, I read it in a YouTube comment.

Photo by from Pexels

Whereas we humans tend not to be so straight forward. For example: ‘I’m having a nice time.’ means ‘After today you will never see me again but I am too embarrassed to say I am not interested in you.’ and cancelling a date and saying ‘We’ll have to do it another time.’ means. ‘After today you will never hear from me again but I am too embarrassed to say I am not interested in you so I am just going to take ages to respond until you give up. I may have some issues.

Photo by: Inzmam Khan

I tend to prefer to be direct. I was talking to someone I work with about her boyfriend the other day. She said that she was surprised that it wasn’t obvious who it was. I said I wasn’t so good at picking up hints of things like that. There was more to it though. I have previously seen what I thought were signs of someone being interested in me and been way off. So if I had seen something between her and her boyfriend I would have dismissed it as me reading something that wasn’t there – as I have done with other friends. It makes me wonder if there has been someone who was interested but I was too oblivious to notice.

This post went on a weird journey didn’t it? In saying that I can link back to a trains in a completely unnatural segue. I am unlikely to become better at reading people any time soon. So my only option is to bumble along. If there is one thing I have learned from being in customer service… people are strange and that goes for all areas of life.

I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.  

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