No one has any money any more. And we all ran out of ideas for presents on day 12. Not that we have a lot of options here. The only place open in the village is Mr Sandhu’s little shop and space invaders and other confectionery don’t make for good presents. Heck on day nine mum got me a tin of beans – and they weren’t even Heinz! I know a present is a present but still. Damn You, Wizard.
We can’t even go for a walk any more because the snowman has brought so much snow! I can barely get the door open. I could technically get out of the house but I wouldn’t even be able to find it again.
Even Santa Clause has been reduced to just one Ho. Christmas Eve he was his usual self. “Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas.” Now it is just: “Ho. Christmas.”
He has lost so much weight too travelling around the world every day. And he is malnourished. He’s forced to subsist on mince pies, which at this point contain as much sawdust as they do flour, also sherry, and a small bite of a carrot. He and his reindeer are going to die if this goes on much longer.
Damn you, Wizard.
The kids singing goes on day and night and I don’t have any ear plugs. There was a massive clatter last night as the band collapsed from exhaustion – for the umpteenth time!
Oh I wish it could be Christmas once a year. So the kids stop singing and the band can get some sleep.
Let the bells stop ringing so I can hear myself think! I am going mad and about ready to beat myself over the head with a turkey leg! Last time I had the wish bone I wished for the sweet release of death!
Why don’t I give my love for Christmas? Because it won’t stop! I have rocked around the tree too many times – although tree is a bit generous since it is just a twig now – and if I hear the word merry once more I think I am going to scream.
I hope you all have a happy time no matter what you you are celebrating. And may the coming year be better than this one. Although it would take a lot for it to be worse wouldn’t it?
I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.
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