Yeah. It’s a bit of a weird title for this post but…

“Weird is part of the job.” Captain Janeway.

Have you noticed, I’m guessing you have, that whatever you buy on Amazon it suggests telling your friends on Twitter. Once I was buying from my brother’s Christmas list and it still suggests sharing. Why?

I can’t actually imagine sharing any purchase on Amazon. However since Amazon sell everything, including sex toys, it seems a bit of an odd thing to do. And yes I did just search Amazon for that to make sure. See how much I care about this blog? Now I’m going to have sex toys following me round the internet. And that is an image you won’t get out of your head in a hurry.

Now we’re all adults here so I’m going to raise the subject of porn. Porn sites have share buttons. Who the actual fuck shares porn videos? If your talking with friends and the subject of sex comes up you all know that each one of you has probably watched porn at some point. However we all pretend like that is not true. (Although I think I was once asked and I said ‘Who doesn’t?’ or some such thing.)

Plausible deniability is a wonderful thing. Though if you’re male it’s more like ‘implausible deniability’.

The problem with share buttons is that mistakes can be made. You think you’re on your internet private time – I can do euphemisms me – but instead you’ve shown the word.

All in all I love the internet, and technology in general, but sometimes the way things are is completely mind-boggling to me.

DVDs are another one… here are some DVD issues I have noticed.

1. Short loop menus. You put the DVD in but are not ready to play and it plays the films theme tune over and over again. Why can’t it sit in silence?
2. You get a list of episodes written in such a way that it is unclear what the correct order is.
3. The DVD will start automatically! I’ll press the button when I am ready.
4. The film will start again as soon as the credits have finished. Who watches a film and thinks ‘Let’s do that again?’
5. Then you have menus that move or require a simple puzzle to unlock. (Yes I have seen that once.)

All in all its like the makes of these DVDs have actually never seen a film. Wouldn’t this annoy them? Or did they sell their souls long ago.

Then of course there is that advert that informs us, in some off-brand of drama, that we wouldn’t steal a car or a TV. Actually the advert is so old now I certainly wouldn’t steal that TV.

So yes this has been a bit of a rant. I like a rant now and again. I will rant more in the future because I happen to enjoy it. The America election is right around the corner. I wonder what is going to happen.

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I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

I grew up on Thunderbirds. And for reasons that aren’t exactly clear to me at the moment I have been thinking about it again recently. This was a great series and having seen something of the knew CGI series I think that, on balance, the puppets were better.

As an early sign that writing was the thing for me I played Thunderbirds too. Except it wasn’t called International Rescue it was called Great Rescuers. Essentially it was the same story only with my Duplo.

One idea I do remember was that the people, I don’t think I got as far as character names, didn’t have quite such a specific idea of who’s craft was who’s. Everyone was expected to be proficient in the operation of every craft so, in cases of illness, a rescue operation would still be possible.

A work friend of my dad’s presented this general idea to their boss. Apparently he, the boss, didn’t quite see the merit in making sure all staff were proficient in all areas. Dad’s friend wondered why I, remember we’re talking when I was 5, was able to understand this concept but the boss was not.

Maybe I have a narcissist personality but making changes to existent things has always been something I have done. Back then I watched Thunderbirds and invented my own rescuers. Today, when watching a TV show or film, there is always a little voice saying how I might have shot a scene differently or played them in a different order.

This doesn’t detract from the enjoyment of watching something it just adds an extra dimension.

The original Thunderbirds still stands up pretty well. The puppets look a little silly but the model work is excellent. And of course it has the classic 60s imagination of future technology which was so cool and completely missed the invention of digital recordings. So yes it’s goofy but I like it.

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I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

I like lists. I like them for stories and I like them for life. I read somewhere that Charles Dickens liked lists too. It is a useful way to quickly describe something. In one story I have a  character with lots of hats and just a list is enough. I like them to go over a sentence of two – its a strange thing.

In life I have a to-do list. I have used several apps for this and keep changing which I’m using. I feel I have to have everything, including writing this which may qualify as meta, written down. Otherwise I might forget something important. The kitchen would be ruled my fruit flies.

The funny thing is that in doing these lists I come up against the classic problem. That of spending too much time on, what is essentially, a timetable for my life. I was thinking of this in relation to Arnold Rimmer, hence the title, where he spent all his time making a timetable and didn’t have time to revise before the final exam.

For me there is no final exam. Unless you think there is one before death. I want to balance the things I must do with the things I want to do. I am still clinging on to the misguided belief that life is like a game. The Prophets might believe that but that’s another matter – yes I’m looking for the flagpole and the fanfare but I think my Princess is in another castle.

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I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is the fourth book in the series. It took me a stupid long time to read it (8th July – 23rd September) but that is no reflection on how good it is just a refection on how slow I am.

So without any further delay. Let’s begin.

One

‘Why doesn’t anyone just go to the police?’ (Blink: Doctor Who)

I’m going to start us off with something fairly minor. At the start of the novel Harry’s scar hurts and he considers contacting Dumbledore but dismisses the idea. This seems a little short sighted. Harry knows by this point that the scar can be an omen of things. It is  indicative of a problem shown in so many films. People never do the logical thing. Even if it is nothing to worry about Dumbledore has always taken Harry seriously. What would be the worst that would happen if Harry did contact him?

Two

Stamps

It continues to amaze me how little the Wizarding world understands our world. This is shown near the beginning of the novel when Harry receives a letter from Mrs Weasley. The letter is ‘…covered in stamps except for a square inch on the front…’ It’s funny but does it really make sense? Stamps have existed for nearly two centuries. I find it hard to believe that it has never come up before. If nothing else wouldn’t Mrs Weasley have had to have gone to a post office? Books of stamps come in 12s – surely that should be a clue that not that many are needed.

Three

Classified Information and Magical Contracts

I am lumping these two together because they are tangentalily related. The Triwizard Tournament is described as being classified and none of the main characters know about it until they reach Hogwarts when Dumbledore announces it. There is just one problem with this: What about the other schools? They knew and had to travel to Hogwarts, select which of their number were going to go, and so on. Yet somehow in the host school it is a secret. Wouldn’t this be considered a highly important event?

Then we have the issue of a ‘binding magical contract’ this is something that is never explained and is a problem because it drives the plot. Harry has to compete because of this and, as explained in the above video, we are not given an explanation as to why this can’t be overturned. In real life when we sign a contract it doesn’t bind us in a literal sense. We are still free to do the exact opposite. If we do there will be a fine or possible imprisonment depending on the severity of the breach.

If I was Harry Potter, well I would have died in the first book but never mind, I would have refused to compete. What would have happened if he had?

Four

Universal Translator

I never said that these were to be in anyway an in depth analysis. So this is a rather minor point but I shall make it anyway. When we meet the Bulgarian minister we are told he ‘…didn’t seem to understand a word of English.’ I accept that but find it hard to accept that there isn’t a spell for that. Surely with the possibilities we are presented with when it comes to magic a translation spell would be easy. Instead it seems that the approach to foreigners in the magical world is the same as the approach employed by many in our own world. Speak your own language loudly and the foreigner is bound to understand you.

Five

Tracking Hedwig

Owls are clearly magical in the Harry Potter universe. They are able to find anyone, I don’t believe their range is ever stated, but they can certainly travel a great distance. In this book Hedwig is able to find Sirius despite his being in hiding. So my question is this: If Hedwig is able to find him why can’t the ministry?

There isn’t really much else to say on this subject. It just interests me how limitless and limited magic seems to be in almost equal measure.

Six

The Cup

At the end of the novel Harry is brought to the graveyard by the cup. The cup was a port key. However if any object can be a port key then why go to the rigmarole of the tournament, this is also mentioned in the Cinema sins video, why couldn’t they have just made something else into a port key – one of his text books for instance.

To be fair this is a common problem with fantasy and science fiction story telling. When characters are in their world they don’t talk about it. Any more than we would feel the need to explain the phrase ‘I don’t have any bars.’ in relation to a mobile phone.

Seven

S.P.E.W

The Wizerding world seems to be behind us in a lot of ways. The technological issue is explained in this book but what about the cultural issue?

The House Elves are slaves. This seems to be accepted by everyone, except Hermione obviously, and it makes me wonder why.

I find it had to believe that an organisation like S.P.E.W doesn’t already exist. I also find it had to believe that Hermione didn’t notice how obviously silly, and open to misinterpretation, the name is.

S.P.E.W however is a nice subplot to the novel and adds nice layers to the novel.

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I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

I am currently in the process of moving house. I have found an excellent place in a great location and I can’t wait to move in. It will probably be in December or early in the new year before that can happen.

Unlike my last place this one has, so far, no compromises. Every other flat I have seen their is always something wrong. Sometimes the location sucks, sometimes the rooms are too small, and sometimes it needs far too much work doing to it.

This one will need a bit of work but I am in a wonderfully unique position.  I can move in slowly. Since the scale of my last place I have been staying with my parents. And they have said that when I move I can take my time allowing me to get rid of lots of accumulated junk.

Once the work is done I shall get a Roomba and the little robot will keep it clean. Then I’ll just need a robot for the rest of the housework. Where I can pick up a Protocol droid?

Fifty years ago today Star Trek started with the episode: The Man Trap. The anniversary almost passed me by but I couldn’t very well not talk about it could I?

Star Trek, and I’m speaking about it in all incarnations, (Even Enterprise) has been in my life for as long as I can remember. I believe the first episode I ever saw was The Devil In the Dark. I have this vague recollection of walking into the living room and seeing it on our tiny TV. I must have been… I have no idea actually but maybe 5… I remember thinking it looked boring and leaving. At some point I came to really enjoy it. DS9 is my favorite of the series followed closely by TNG and TOS.

TOS looks a little silly by today’s standards. We have surpassed them in several areas of technology, there is sexism, the sets weren’t always the best, and the aliens were obvious men in suits – nevertheless none of that, except the sexism, detracts from the fact that they told some really great stories and, without too much hyperbole, inspired a generation.

Live long and prosper.

Next year there will be a new Star Trek TV series. This is about the best 30th birthday present I could imagine. What’s even better is that this will be in the prime universe rather than the Abramsverse. To me this is wonderful news as Star Trek has, in my opinion, always been better in television form. While I like a lot of the films they tend to focus on revenge and explosions. The TV shows had a much better scope of stories. It is my hope that this series will showcase the best that Star Trek has to offer.

There are a few things I’d like to see from this series.

One

Give it a name!

I didn’t think much of Star Trek (2009), I actually preferred Into Darkness, but one thing that really annoyed me was the lack of a title. When Star Trek started in 1966 it had no need of any other title, for obvious reasons, but after TNG it became known as The Original Series. What ever happens this new series needs a title.

• Addendum: I moved house between writing this and now. This is rather later than planned we now know the name of the new series. Star Trek: Discovery.

Two

Have a gay character!

Star Trek has danced around this idea for far too long. The closest we got, in the prime universe was in Rejoined:

Kira: … why (can’t) Dax and Lenara … just pick up where they left off. I mean if they’re still in love.

In this episode Dax meets a woman who she was married to in one of her past lives. She carries a symbiont and it was formally in a man. The episode discusses why she can’t pick up the relationship and continue. The reason is that Trill society forbids new hosts from reassociating with former partners. It is described as unnatural. However the fact that they are both women is completely irrelevant and is never even mentioned.

In this new series we need to have a gay character. I think that a male gay character would be better as, in general, it is less accepted. Furthermore there is still the feeling in some places that being gay, for a man, means they are less of a man. If we had a gay man on this new ship who was a capable and strong character it would be an excellent thing to see.

Three

Female Command Staff

We’ve had female first officers, and we’ve had a female captain, but why not have both being women. This would be an excellent more for the series.

Every Star Trek series has had female characters but we have never really had two woman in charge. Picard and Riker and Spock and Kirk made excellent teams and I want to see the same with two women. It has never been done and I thing that this would be good.

• Addendum: We now know that the main character will be a female, human, Lieutenant Commander.

Four

An Alien Captain

This in a minor point but I think it is worth mentioning. The United Federation of Planets is supposed to represent over 150 planets. Yet all the captains we see are human and from Earth.

So why not have an alien captain. My vote would be to have an Andorian or a Tellarite captain. These two races have had little exploration and it would be good to see.

Five

More Aliens

Related to the above we need more aliens in general. When the ship’s are all human crews it starts to look a little silly, the Federation is supposed to be many worlds, so more aliens, even if only in the background, would be a great thing.

Six

A well developed secondary cast

A secondary cast is one of those little things that can make a huge difference. Often times they only exist to die but even if they manage to survive they are never seen again.  It would be good for the series to have familiar faces throughout. Just a smattering of characters here and there. The other advantage is you get away from the problem of senior officers doing everything. And if a character has reoccurred throughout killing them has more impact.

Seven

Do What Only You Can Do

Of all the previous series DS9 is my favorite; followed closely by TNG and TOS. What all these series did well was take full advantage of their settings. DS9 had stories that wouldn’t have worked on the other shows, because of the stationary setting, and TNG had stories that couldn’t have been done on TOS because of social constraints. TNG could be far more direct, sometimes too direct, in its social commentary.

I feel that this was a failing of Voyager and Enterprise.

Voyager is supposed to be the story of two crews forced to work together. They have no resources to call on and have to survive alone. Yet we frequently see the ship trashed and then perfectly fine the next episode. Voyager seems to have an inexhaustible supply of shuttles and torpedoes. Furthermore the Maquis behave like everyone else, for most of the series, rather begging the question of why they were included.

Enterprise is a prequel series. As such the expectation is that it will show us what happened before Kirk. However Enterprise has: gravity plating, phasers, and a transporter. The ship looks fundamentally the same as the later ships and, in my opinion, there is little of the series that couldn’t have been done in the 24th century – with the notable exception that Picard is a competent Captain and Archer – well… A Picard speech could bring implacable enemies to the negotiation table. An Archer speech could start a fight between two pacifists.

When Star Trek: Discovery arrives it needs to do something unique. Something we haven’t seen before. Having the focus shifted to a Lieutenant Commander is a very good sign. Perhaps this will be the Star Trek we’ve been waiting for – at least those of us disappointed with the 2009 reboot.

Conclusion

I have high hopes for this series. In spite of the problems associated with prequels I think this could be a very interesting series. I can’t wait to see it.

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I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

Found this the other day. It is still as relevant as ever.

Last week the United Kingdom voted to leave the European Union. I would be remiss if I didn’t talk a little about this.

Politics is a subject that it is often best to avoid. It can lead to heated debates and even ruin friendships. Nevertheless I’m going to stick my neck out and talk about this. Firstly I’m going to let C.G.P Grey explain what the EU is…

It is rather disturbing that people were googling ‘What is the EU?’ – after the vote – I hope that those people didn’t vote.

In an article in the Guardian David Mitchel states: ‘The EU is a matter for Parliament’ And Richard Dawkins, mentioned in the same article, says:

“It is an outrage that people as ignorant as me are being asked to vote. This is a complicated matter of economics, politics, history, and we live in a representative democracy not a plebiscite democracy. You could make a case for having plebiscites on certain issues – I could imagine somebody arguing for one on fox hunting, for example – but not on something as involved as the European Union. This should be a matter for parliament.”

I think that this is quite right. Part of the idea of Parliamentary representation is that we give others permission to act on our behalf. To understand all the details of the EU would take hours – in short the average citizen is not qualified to make such a decision.

I voted remain. I feel I have a good understanding of the issues, or at least good enough, and that that choice was the right one. According to the statistics most people around my age agree with that choice. It was the older generation that wanted us to leave and it looks like that is what will happen. It doesn’t have to happen as the referendum was only advisory and it still has to go through Parliament. Parliament could decide to ignore it – this is highly unlikely as it would be political suicide for them. Nevertheless the margin was so small I think we need continued discussion – even Farage agrees with that – at least he did when it looked like he was going to loose.

One wonderfully ironic side of this is Nigel Farage. He is calling this the UK’s independence day but the UK may not be the UK for much longer. Scotland overwhelming voted to remain and there is now talk of another Independence referendum. So it seems that Farage may face the situation of being out of the EU, which he wants, but us no longer being the UK.

I am deeply troubled by us leaving the EU. Mostly because of the way the Brexit campaign was handled. I recognise that many good people voted to leave and had good reason for doing so. Nevertheless it does seem to have opened the door to racism and xenophobia.

This continued fear regarding immigration and foreigners in general is very worrying. I may be overreacting but the general idea of putting Britain first has some disturbing historical parallels. It feels to me like the first baby steps to a very bad situation. I am just a little frighted.

…the road from legitimate suspicion to rampant paranoia is very much shorter than we think…I don’t like what we have become.

[Captain Picard (Star Trek: The Next Generation – The Drumhead)]

I have never been exactly proud to be British. It is just a fact. Since the referendum though I am ashamed to be British. We seem to becoming a nation that is scared to work with others and cannot see beyond our own borders.

If this does go ahead and Trump becomes US President I think I might see if that flight to Mars has any seats left.

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I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

Happy father’s day to all.

Here’s a completely unrelated story…

I’ve never quite got this living alone malarkey down. It always feels like things become untidy, and messy, all by themselves. The washing up was particularly vexing. It seemed to go from just a plate or two – to a stack that nearly shattered to the floor – in very short order. Then there is mold at the bottom of some glasses and I have fruit flies… [Click to continue.]