It is somewhat weird being introverted during this time. I do not go out all that much during a normal week, with the exception of work, therefore for me this time shouldn’t be all that different. In fact it should be easy – my lack of desire to leave the house has been replaced with lack of ability.
In the beginning it did feel a little weird not being able to go out but now I have mostly settled to being okay with it. Emphasis on the mostly.
On the whole I am doing okay but I am getting moments of stress and feeling like there are too many thoughts in my head.
Is this picture a bit too on nose to describe my mental state? Yeah it probably is but I am going to go with it! I am allowed to make disparaging remarks about myself.
I had come to the conclusion that I was mostly stressed because I was having trouble balancing the various facets of my life but it turns out it might be more than that. I now have so many extra hours and it is still not enough.
And frankly that has what has got me worried. I have done 34 hours of my own stuff this week. I am still feeling drained, which I count as different from being tired, and have some aces and pains in my body – but maybe that comes from sitting at my desk all day.
Emotions have been a complicated thing for me for a while. I feel I have unsure of myself for a long time. Part of that uncertainly is a feeling of not meeting my goals – now though I know that those issues are not connected with lack of time – it is something else – and I need to discover what that is.
My experience of this unprecedented period is simply one of isolation and an attempt to find what what is wrong with me.
In expressing these thoughts I in no way mean to take away from those who are suffering. I am sure that everyone has been effected – some in big ways and some in small ways – but I think we all need to consider all of our friends and family – from those who just need a quick text message – to those who may need more done for them. Take care of each other and see you next time.
I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.
I have a Patreon page. I hope you will consider supporting this blog: https://www.patreon.com/unstableorbit
Unstable Orbit 