Not Enough Time

“I believe there are currents in the Universe, eddies and tides that pull us one way or the other. Some we have to fight, some we have to embrace. Unfortunately the currents that we have to fight look exactly like the currents we have to embrace. The currents that we think are ones that are going to make us stronger, they’re the ones that are going to destroy us. And the ones that we think are going to destroy us, they’re the ones that make us stronger. ”
Vir Cotto, “The Geometry of Shadows” Babylon 5

It occurred to me the other day that I often say, if only to myself, that I don’t have time to do things. I’ve found though that this is not true. Its simply a matter of what we choose to do. If you get home and binge watch Stargate SG-1 then you’re not going to get much done of an evening.

Keyboard

I might need to clean my keyboard!

I chose the above quote because it feeds nicely into this – that will become clear in a moment. I think that when I get home from work I want to watch TV and relax – the truth is I actually feel better if I’m productive. I’m the kind of person who becomes stressed when not meeting his own deadlines. I set myself tasks and feel bad when I don’t do them – even when, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter.

I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way. Everyone has some sort of neurosis or craziness. I know I’m not normal but there is no normal. Every one is a strange confluence of their likes and dislikes. I’m listening to a Eurovision song at the moment – I bought several of the albums – so what? However I also have Mozart and the Corrs, Lordi, James Darren, S Club, Britney Spears, and so on. And with that I lost any street-cred I might have had.

I no longer care.

Well I say I no longer care. I used to care what people thought. I cared so much that I would be afraid to say what I liked. Now I say I don’t care. There is a little voice in the back of mind is saying that I should care. Its an odd thing.

This post has ended in an entirely different place from where it started. However like a good school essay lets see if I can wrap it all up in a bow…

Perhaps all this comes from influence of others. I don’t really know anyone who likes the music I like. My friends enjoy going to the club, drinking, and dancing. I prefer quiet evenings. Hitting my target of blogging once a week, trying to get the flat looking good, these things actually make me feel good. While there is a time and a place for Stargate it might not be an everyday thing.

Someone I know said that I was boring. She didn’t say it in a nasty way but maybe, from one perspective, I am. I like my own company but sometimes it would be nice to be alone with someone else. Even if you’re both working on your own projects it can be nice to just have company.

I have been thinking of getting a fish!

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