Tag Archives: time

I Have No Plan

Yes. I have no plan for life or for this blog. Having no plan doesn’t always work out that badly though.

Any excuse to share Doctor Who

I seem to muddle through like a writer in search of a workable metaphor. I might be a bit mad as I have too many things I am trying to do and so none of them get done very well. Hence why the laundry tub is overflowing – I need to get rid of some clothes too. It is 1249 as write this so only five hours and ten minutes before you will be able to read it.


For today I am going to share a short story. This was written for a competition at my writing group. It had to contain the words: Facebook, Banana, despot, and kettle.

The Banana, the kettle, and the Despot.

There was an old man seated at the other end of the table. He wore a smart, but not expensive, grey suit was bald, and he was stroking a banana.

Siobhan had made it very clear I shouldn’t laugh at her grandfather but in this situation it wasn’t easy. “So,” he said. “You like my granddaughter?”

For a man stroking a banana he was somehow able to make the simple question sound threatening.

“I do,” I said.

“I hope that you are prepared to one day say those words in a more public setting and you are not just… using her.”

“I am not, sir.”

He smiled and continued to run his hand over the banana. “I am sure you are wondering why I have this banana.”


“Simple,” he said. “I am allergic to cats.”

I had seen a picture of him early in Siobhan and my Facebook conversations and now that I looked at him he did bear and uncanny resemblance to Donald Pleasence. If he was despotic Blofeld did that make me Bond? If Bond was overweight and had difficultly talking to women. I chanced a question. “So you are some despot wanting to end the world?”

“No. However your world will end if you hurt Siobhan.”

Suddenly a woman was led into the room by a man wearing black fatigues, with a water-pistol on his hip and carrying a kettle. I recognised the man as Siobhan’s brother and the woman was her best friend.

“This woman put the milk in first!” Had the words not been so ridiculous it might actually have been scary. Siobhan’s grandfather had been a small time actor.

The woman was staring at her shoes. Siobhan’s brother barely touched her with the kettle and she stage fell to the ground. He then fired his water-pistol at her soaking her black shirt.

“You see the consequences for disobedience?” Her grandfather stared at me and I gulped in spite of myself. I wasn’t sure what this man would actually do if I hurt his granddaughter but I was sure I didn’t want to know. Somehow his gaze lost no power in spite of the fact that all I had seen was a woman shot with a water-pistol and an old man stroking a banana.

The End.

I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.  

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Not Enough Time

“I believe there are currents in the Universe, eddies and tides that pull us one way or the other. Some we have to fight, some we have to embrace. Unfortunately the currents that we have to fight look exactly like the currents we have to embrace. The currents that we think are ones that are going to make us stronger, they’re the ones that are going to destroy us. And the ones that we think are going to destroy us, they’re the ones that make us stronger. ”
Vir Cotto, “The Geometry of Shadows” Babylon 5

It occurred to me the other day that I often say, if only to myself, that I don’t have time to do things. I’ve found though that this is not true. Its simply a matter of what we choose to do. If you get home and binge watch Stargate SG-1 then you’re not going to get much done of an evening.


I might need to clean my keyboard!

I chose the above quote because it feeds nicely into this – that will become clear in a moment. I think that when I get home from work I want to watch TV and relax – the truth is I actually feel better if I’m productive. I’m the kind of person who becomes stressed when not meeting his own deadlines. I set myself tasks and feel bad when I don’t do them – even when, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter.

I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way. Everyone has some sort of neurosis or craziness. I know I’m not normal but there is no normal. Every one is a strange confluence of their likes and dislikes. I’m listening to a Eurovision song at the moment – I bought several of the albums – so what? However I also have Mozart and the Corrs, Lordi, James Darren, S Club, Britney Spears, and so on. And with that I lost any street-cred I might have had.

I no longer care.

Well I say I no longer care. I used to care what people thought. I cared so much that I would be afraid to say what I liked. Now I say I don’t care. There is a little voice in the back of mind is saying that I should care. Its an odd thing.

This post has ended in an entirely different place from where it started. However like a good school essay lets see if I can wrap it all up in a bow…

Perhaps all this comes from influence of others. I don’t really know anyone who likes the music I like. My friends enjoy going to the club, drinking, and dancing. I prefer quiet evenings. Hitting my target of blogging once a week, trying to get the flat looking good, these things actually make me feel good. While there is a time and a place for Stargate it might not be an everyday thing.

Someone I know said that I was boring. She didn’t say it in a nasty way but maybe, from one perspective, I am. I like my own company but sometimes it would be nice to be alone with someone else. Even if you’re both working on your own projects it can be nice to just have company.

I have been thinking of getting a fish!

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