I have a tendency to be rather negative. This is a problem I have. This is a problem I need to deal with. This is a problem I don’t quite know how to deal with.
In the past I have Googled the subject of emotional suppression. Unless you hail from the planet Vulcan emotions are something that you have to deal with. At the time of that search I wanted to know if emotional suppression was really possible. And at times I still do.
My emotions are often in turmoil. I find that a good mood can be destroyed by something relatively minor. Being jump around happy is amazing – but sometimes wonder if sacrificing those times would be
worth it if it meant never having to feel bad.
I know that, as humans, we can’t give up on emotion. Which means trying to deal with them.
To that end I have been meditating. I honestly can’t say with any certainty how much it has helped. I suppose the only way would be to have two identical mes and one meditates and the other doesn’t and then the data is compared – so bring on the cloning vat – set course for Sontar.
There is a lot of noise in every day life – 
both in reality and in our own minds. Thus taking a few minutes to stop and not think can surely only be beneficial. With the caveat if you’re in a car heading off a cliff you might want to try turning away.
Switching off completely is more difficult these days than it ever was in the past. Thanks to social media it is so easy to get sucked into you tube and Facebook. The former particularly is one I have a love/hate relationship with. I have found some wonderful videos on there but, on the other had, I probably don’t need to know 25 Things I Hate from some random person.
By the time you read this I will have returned from my holiday. I hope that I will feel refreshed and a bit better about myself.
I think the negativity of others is worthy of consideration too. If you have a friend who gets done on you and tells you you are useless then maybe you want to distance yourself from them. I am just a guy with a blog. There is no reason to take advice from me but a friend being negative is not going to help. It may even be in the guise of being helpful. Maybe they are telling you to be realistic about a dream of yours. In life there is no guarantee of success but in terms of ambition I refer you to the words of J Michael Straczynski: ‘Never Surrender Dreams.’
Naturally writing is my dream. I can’t imagine not doing it. At times it is infuriating; when the image so clearly in my mind is so hard to translate into these little inefficient squiggles. At times it is annoying: when I don’t know something and have to get passed the 20th page on a Google search or find an expert. And sometimes I realise that the thing I need to know is something I will never understand.
Always though I know this is what I need to do. Not in a destiny way. Not in a ‘it was meant to be’ way. This is just something that has to be for me. I hope that many of you have that enjoyment of something.
For now I keep going. I try to be more positive and find the things that make me happy. And I will keep writing. Maybe one day I can make a living from it. That would be a great day indeed. But maybe not though – it is a compulsion, it is almost like a drug, but I must, as Joe Sisko says, ‘Write the words.’
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I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.
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The pictures here are from: https://www.pexels.com/
Unstable Orbit 