Eyes

Photo by Bess Hamiti from Pexels

In choosing the title for this blog post I really have no idea where it is going to go. Maybe that is half the fun of it. Aside from pictures, like the one above, I don’t know that I have ever looked closely at someone’s eyes.

If we were to draw a picture of eyes I think most of us would use just a block of colour but, as you can see, they are not actually like that. There are pools of colour and different shades. I wonder what the reason for that is or is it just one of those quirks of nature that don’t have much of a meaning. I could look into it (no pun intended) but somehow I am not sure I would understand the answer.

Photo by Alex Martin from Pexels

Sometimes my eyes hurt. Maybe it is because of screens. Computer’s and mobiles are not good for the eyes. We may not think of it in in this way but we are essentially looking at light for most of the day. I keep telling myself I am going to shut down my devices and have less screen time before bed. It never happens! Why is it so hard to drag ourselves away. It is not like the thing we are doing won’t be there for us the next day.

I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile. Your life as it has been is over. From this time forward, you will service us.

Locutus (Star Trek: The Next Generation The Best of Both Words)

We are not the Borg the devices are not in our heads. (Somehow I want to say ‘Yet’ at this juncture.)We can walk away from the technology and do something else – but it is difficult. We can scroll for ever.

Photo by Adrianna Calvo from Pexels

A better alternative would be to read a book. Even that feels like a challenge. Do you get moments like that? You feel too tired to do something of substance but not tired enough to sleep.

Maybe it is a training thing. To develop better habits we have to, in the beginning, force ourselves to be better before it later becomes second nature to us.

https://www.pexels.com/photo/path-railroad-rails-straight-1425/

As I alluded to last time change is coming. I am moving further away from where I work this will mean a longer commute. The plus side of it is more exercise and reading time.

Photo by Life Of Pix from Pexels

She is going to read when she gets on the train – there is a small book in that bag!

A longer commute is a pain but reading time is never a bad thing! Now though it is time to talk about why I am moving and where I am going.

https://www.pexels.com/photo/brown-bear-leaning-on-bed-headboard-832999/

I am moving into a studio flat at my parent’s house. Basically they have converted the garage – it was already a room, with a toilet and sink, but now it will be a studio flat. I have lived alone for a long time and I have been finding it difficult for a while. Technically I will be still living alone but I will have family close at hand should I need it.

Part of me feels weird about doing this. It feels like a step backwards. On the other hand it may also be exactly what I need. In some ways I am not well – I may not have a diagnosis or piece of paper to prove that but I feel it – the anxiety and the spiral of hopelessness. For now this is what I need to do to be happier in life so this is what I am going to do. It is my hope that in time I will start to feel better again – it has been a long time since I felt completely ‘normal’.

I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

I have a Patreon page. I hope you will consider supporting this blog: https://www.patreon.com/unstableorbit

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