2018-07-22 · 18:00

Brain Like a Sieve

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The last post was bang on time. It was not late at all. Except I did the internet equivalent of putting in a locked filling cabinet in a part of an office building where nobody goes.

And the reason you have a lovely picture of a sieve to look at is because the idea I had has taken a holiday. Write stuff down my friends.

I hope that things are going well with you. I am continuing with Morning Pages and I think it is useful. If nothing else it gives a space to vent every morning. Never underestimate the value of a good vent. Just sit on your bed and pretend that your teddy bear is a very good friend of yours.

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He may not be able to offer advice but he will really listen. And sometimes that is what you need.

Writing this post is a little strange for me. At the moment I am feeling fine. Normally I write about depression on the bad days but today was good.

I had the opportunity to work in a different department at work. (I am keeping where I work secret.) So I have had an early start today and an day of lots of activity – moving stock from shelf to shelf and generally trying to get the shop organised.

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And now my brain has found the key to the locked cabinet, I have fought off the leopard, and I can tell you what I was going to tell you.

On my last day off I got a lot done. I timed myself and it was five hours. There was exercise on that day, reading, writing. meditation, and house work. And you know what? It felt good.

I have this mindset of needing to have fun. The problem is I don’t even know what that is and in fact it is so simple. Fun is just what makes you happy and apparently, for me, fun is marking off stuff on a self created to-do list.

It is another example of Idea vs. Reality. The primary one being food. How many of you I wonder have had this happen: I think I will buy that thing…doughnut, burger, sausage roll, ect, and then you eat it and are disappointed. The idea was marvellous the execution not so much.

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I was accused of being dull the other day. Well it is all relative. Last weekend millions watched a bunch of guys kick a ball around. To me that is dull. If you like football that is great! I do mean that. To me it is dull. (And growing up sports on TV meant my shows were bumped!) I have discovered that productivity is actually fun. Knocking out a few items on my list and then trying to think of what is fun is not fun.

Maybe, by the national average, I am dull. I don’t care.

This post was written when I have had a good day and thus it is bright. I know the dark will come again. That is just how it works. For now there is this blog post… and cookies… there are always cookies.

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I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

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2018-07-17 · 20:13

Charlie X

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Exercising is far easier when you’re watching something. Yeah it is not going to lead me to me Mr Muscle but it is better to exercise and watch than never to exercise at all. Shakespeare said that didn’t he?

I may have undone some of the work by the Chai latte and the Indian meal and in the evening I had a party to go to. I brought doughnuts which few people seemed to want. There were 8 or so left – so I gave them away. The woman I gave them to does a lot of sport, and goes to the gym a lot more, so she can justify a doughnut in a way my flabby gut cannot!

I was watching the TOS episode Charlie X while on the treadmill. I am still yet to get to any really good episodes. This episode was odd.

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A young boy is brought aboard the Enterprise and is quickly shown to have superpowers. He can make crewmen disappear, mutilate them, melt chess pieces, and do card tricks.

Charlie has been isolated from humans for his whole life and so it is quite a learning curve for him to adjust to life in society. And we see what a child might do if presented with great power.

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The ending is problematic as it is a desus ex machiina. The Enterprise was only saved because the aliens bailed them out. At least the existence of the aliens was at least telegraphed earlier in the show.

Gender has to again be talked about here. Yeoman Rand was the first woman Charlie had ever seen.

It is natural that he would feel drawn to her.  Given his age sex education is vital to his development. Unfortunately he is on a ship from the 1960s. Meaning that Kirk, McCoy, and even Spock seem incapable of explaining these matters to him.

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As this was the 1960s there was no way for the writer’s to talk about sex. In a later episode, Wink of an Eye, Kirk is seen putting on his boots while a woman brushes her hair behind him. And this was considered to have been getting something passed the sensors. I think though they could have at least suggested that Charlie had received that education. Maybe even that was too much for the time.

There is also the problematic thing of Rand being called a girl. I’ll discuss that in The Lights of Zetar as it becomes more relevant in that one.

Over all this is a below average entry in the series. Admittedly most of my issues with it steam from my modern view point but still I don’t think it is one of the best. The next one features God-like powers too.

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I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

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2018-07-08 · 18:00

Jumble

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I talked about Morning Pages the other week and am still sticking with it. So far I have managed to remember and not left it till after midnight as has happened to me when writing a paper diary.

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My mind is such a jumble of thoughts and ideas. There is too much and I am tired more than I should be – so it seems to me.

I would hate to be one of those British people who complains about the weather but it is rather stuffy because of it.

When I get like this it is like the ideas in my mind are blocked as if by a force field and I just have to write my way out of the hole.

It is early afternoon and there is still enough time to go for a walk which I think I will do in a little while.

The human brain is so complex it is difficult to understand. And my own mind is the most perplexing to me. Why do I get nervous about things that should be reasons to relax? Why do I have to turn the door knob several times to make sure it is locked? Why do I feel incapable of going agaist my to-do list?

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The other day at work I was having a bad day. Several people noticed it. They asked what was wrong. There is no answer. My brain is like a dripping tap. Every now and then it gets to overflowing. On that day I feel terrible. Then the water goes and I feel ok but it starts again.

I may be repeating myself a bit here but I want to get out my thoughts – even in a public place. I want to understand why I have these patterns. I don’t imagine that happening I just have to do it and try and look at it from the outside: ‘Today is a bad day – tomorrow will be better.’ That is the idea. Tomorrow never dies though and sometimes it feels like a long time coming.

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I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

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2018-07-01 · 18:00

The Man Trap

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I went to the gym again today and last Thursday. I didn’t meet my target of ten times in June but at least I went six times!

On Thursday, whilst on the treadmill, I watched The Man Trap. It is a far more Trek-like Star Trek episode than The Cage.

We have all the main characters apart from Scotty. No Chekhov either but that character wasn’t on the show yet. We have the familiar colourful uniforms. And we have crew members being killed by the monster of the week. Although none of them were wearing red.

The captain’s logs are used strangely in this episode. Kirk gives information from the future:

Captain’s log, additional entry. Since our mission was routine, we had beamed down to the planet without suspicion. We were totally unaware that each member of the landing party was seeing a different woman, a different Nancy Crater.

I believe this type of thing is done in later episodes but it still struck me as odd. Especially as Crewman Darnell was dead before he had a chance to report what he had seen.

I like the creature in this episode. I think that it still stands up pretty well. As Seven would say: ‘Crude but effective.’

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One thing about TOS that always bugs me is the treatment of women. The uniforms for one thing. They look nice for a night out but are silly for a military uniform. Starfleet is a military I don’t care what Gene says. In this episode I did see women in trousers. Run for the hills it is the end of civilisation! I wish they had gone with that. Although, with the presence of both, it could be argued that women can choose.

More troubling though is the way male crewmen react to women. They talk like young men without a sense of decorum. A crewman looks at Yeoman Rand and says: ‘Yeah, how’d you like to have her as your own personal yeoman.’ 

I know I am putting 2018 thinking into a 1960s show but Star Trek is, or at least it likes to think it is, a progressive show. And it is odd how much sexism there is in it. In some ways TNG went too far in the other direction. In that show the characters can be arrogant about how far humans have come. It makes me wonder how bad it was for women back in the 1960s – and makes me hope that things have improved.

Overall this was a nice introduction to the series. A creature roaming the ship and killing the crew seems, at least to me, very Star Trek. Star Trek didn’t get the reputation for lots of dead crewmen for nothing.

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I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

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2018-06-24 · 18:00

Morning Pages

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I have been writing Morning Pages for the past few days. Basically this is 500 words first thing in the morning. The clue really is in the name!

The idea is just to write whatever it is that is in your mind as soon as you wake up. I have mentioned it here before, I believe, but I have just got back into it.

I have heard it said that handwriting is the better way to do it. My handwriting is probably out done by some trained monkeys so for me using the iPad is better. I can dictate to that for one thing.

I have been writing about some sad things. The first part of the day is always my lowest point. I have looked for an app called Evening Pages – I think book ending the day that way would be of use.

If you struggle with depression or dark thoughts it might be of use to you. Why not give it a go. 500 words on paper, on the Morning Pages app, carve it in stone if you like! I would be interested to hear how you got on.

Well it is nearly midnight and I have work in nine hours so bedtime for me. And, by the magic of a scheduled blog post, by the time you read this work will be over!

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I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

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2018-06-17 · 18:00

The Cage

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I am never going to be super fit. I know this because of two pieces of evidence. Who am I kidding it is more than two. The two I was going to go with are that I am currently eating a chocolate chip muffin and drinking a chai latte – and that I have to practically drag my ass to the gym when I go.

I did go to the gym yesterday – really yesterday this time. I am writing this only a few hours before you will see it.

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I did about 55 minutes on the treadmill. I wasn’t doing an intense work out but I was exercising so I’m glad about that. While I exercised I was watching The Cage. Yep the first, and rejected, pilot episode of Star Trek.

It is difficult to put myself in to the mind of the executives that rejected it but over all I think this episode stands up pretty well.

The character of Number One is a wonderfully strong character. It is such a shame that we didn’t get her later on. I have nothing against Spock, of course, but Number One staying would have been groundbreaking.

One of the strangest parts of the episode was at the very beginning. Captain Pike considers retiring and thinks about a new career. This is strange for two reasons. Firstly since this is a pilot it seems obvious they will not be writing the lead out so why is this here? And secondly one of the jobs he considers is being a slave trader. You think I’m making that up don’t you? Go watch the episode it is all there.

On the subject of Orion slave girls there is something a bit strange about that scene. And I don’t just mean the green woman. One of the men who sits next to Pike is wearing a Starfleet uniform. Which is weird as it was implied that this fantasy was drawn from the idea that it was something Pike could never do. That has just always struck me as strange that’s all. I know Starfleet wasn’t said in the episode but we all know what it was.

Spock smiles. This is because they hadn’t completely figured out the character yet. Those plants must have a weird effect on Vulcans and Pike was nice enough not to say anything.

Spock uses the term Class M. I mention this as the geek in me loves that that was present from the very beginning.

The story itself was a little on the simple side. I feel though that it did its job well in showing what the show would be like. Each week traveling to a new planet and having an adventure.

The characters are not that well defined. Spock would be the only one to continue. Pike does appear again but the less said about that the better. The beeping thing has always struck me as stupid.

As to the other characters, with the exception of Doctor Boyce, they are not even named. Boyce comes across as a proto-McCoy. He has a friends with the captain and seems to believe in the medicinal qualities of alcohol.

The Cage is a good solid pilot. The problem is it is effectively for a show that never happened. Although this was rejected the second pilot was accept and, to end on a cliche, the rest is history.

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I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

 

 

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2018-06-10 · 18:00

Brain and Brain, what is Brain?

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I used Twitter to keep people updated about what I am going to post here. So it might be a little meta to talk about Twitter but that is what this post is about.

One reason I got a smart phone, in the first instance, was because of Twitter. I remember being out and about and thinking of cool witty things I could tweet. I was going to be funny! I had no illusions of this making me popular but I liked the idea of regular tweets and the weirdness of my brain seemed like a good place to mine for content.

Then something weird happened. When I got a smartphone ideas for tweets seemed to leap from my brain!

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My brain and I don’t have the best of relationship. If we were on Facebook it would probably be labelled ‘It’s complicated.’

Luckily I can wrestle it into submission when I sit down to write and sometimes ideas come out of nowhere and I am grateful. And sometimes ideas come out of nowhere and I want to give myself a good talking to because they are too weird.

I have a Google home and it is wonderful to be able to say: ‘Okay Google: Play ‘Bring it all Back’ and have it respond with. ‘Playing Baby got Back’ – not a real example but sometimes what it does bears as much similarity to what I asked for as an omelette does to a pizza!

And I remember long before Google home was a thing that I wanted this kind of thing. I wanted to listen to music and at the end of each song being able to give a verbal command and pick the next track – scrolling is such a bore. Now that I can do that my brain seems devoid of thoughts and can’t call to mind another song.

In conclusion my brain seems to have been rotted by technology. It is so easy to be over stimulated by all the stuff of the internet. Sounds, visuals, even words on a screen. It is only a matter of time before we start to have little computers embedded in our brains. Resistance is futile.

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I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

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2018-06-03 · 18:00

Book Review

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For today’s post I have reviewed Operation Hail Storm – please click here to see the review.

I hope you enjoy reading the review and I’ll see you again next week – and I hope your Sunday has been amazing.

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2018-05-27 · 18:00

The Finishing Line

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In the background, behind what you see, I have a secret. And it is a shameful secret. I’m talking about the unfinished blog posts. The drafts.

You will notice the plural form ‘posts’ yes I have a couple of blog posts, one of which has been in draft for… lets just say a while. Will you let me get away with that? Thank you.

It is one of the problems when you don’t have a set deadline. I have though, for sixteen weeks, posted here consistently and I am quite proud of that. I can’t technically say it is a success of my resolution, as I missed three weeks at the beginning of the year, but it is still a good thing. And that post will see the light of day sooner or later.

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We can only do so much. And there is a self-imposed deadline of Sunday at 1800. The only thing to do with longer posts is to nibble at it until it is finished.

And now for the awkeard segue part of the post from nibble-to-food-to-diet.

I am attempting intermittent fasting. The idea is to only give yourself an eight hour feeding window. And no that does not mean that you get to eat constantly for those eight hours.

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What it means is that you skip one of your meals. So as I write this it is 1201 and I have been up since 0600. Since I last ate last night at 2020 I can’t eat again until after 1220.

I’m choosing to skip breakfast because it is not that special to me and I can save the calories for later. Not all the calories. Doing that would rather defeat the purpose. However, for me, there is certainly merit to the idea of waiting till I am really hungry before eating.

Everyone’s body is different, and I know less about dieting than I do about football, but I like this idea. There is another version of the diet, The warrior diet, in which only one meal a day is consumed. This would be too inflexible for me. I would want to eat in the evening and when in work I only have twenty minutes for dinner. And trying to eat my one hearty meal in that time would be bad for the stomach I’m sure.

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I haven’t been doing this for long enough to see results but, so far, I want to keep with it. Even if I am checking the clock every so often to see if I can eat yet.

The thing with diets is that the common wisdom seems to be that the best strategy is to make a lifestyle change. I was calorie counting before but didn’t have the will power to stop when I hit the limit. I would try to balance food intake with exercise though. Also it is not always clear what calories to write down. I can’t take a weighing scales into the staff canteen and weigh all my food. All that counting calories is tedious in any case.

There is not finishing line when it comes to diets. The body requires constant upkeep. The time just crossed into feeding time but I have just under thirty minutes on my pomodoro left so no food yet. Soon though, grumbling belly, soon. And now I will go away and nibble at one of those longer blog posts.

I hope you have had a wonderful Sunday.

***

I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

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2018-05-20 · 18:00

Eurovision – 2018

venice-grand-canal-water-boats-161850.jpeg Last Saturday was the Grand Final of the Eurovision Song contest. This is something I watch every year. One year I watched it on catch up how sad is that?

I can’t really sit here and tell you it is good but it is something I wouldn’t miss – hence watching it on catch-up the year I couldn’t catch the show on the night.

There was an incident with the UK entry:  And I have to say the way SuRie recovered was remarkable. It didn’t help the UK in getting votes but isn’t it supposed to be about the taking part? I say ‘Yes’.

It is no secret that the UK hasn’t done well in Eurovision. We won in 1997, second in 1998, third in 2002, and then the infamous Gemini happened 2003. Since then the best we have done is fifth in 2009. If the UK wants to do better they might want to submit something good!

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That was a little mean. While I would say that Daz Samson and Scootch were a crime against music I have enjoyed other recent entries.

This was enjoyable:  

And so was this:  Even if I have no idea after four years I have no idea what it means.

I liked this one too:  And it certainly didn’t deserve to do as badly as it did.

This years entry was nice:  It didn’t make me embarrassed to be British and it fit nicely with the others.

The winner this year was Israel:  Which was not one of my favourites. Maybe I just don’t get music. And ‘not one of my favourites’ is putting it mildly. I have seen worse, the aforementioned British entries of Daz Samson and Scootch, but I have also seen a lot better ones too.

The weird thing about Eurovision is that one or two songs always end up jockeying for first place. Given all the countries participating, and surely all with different tastes, it would be reasonable to expect a more even spread of points.

I didn’t have a standout favourite this year but here are some I liked. The first one that stood out for me was:  It may have something to do with the fact that the singer is rather beautiful.

There were other good songs too of course. Ireland’s song was lovely.  That is pretty much what I would expect from Ireland – although the did give us a singing Turkey one year. And the staging, if not the song, of Moldova was very interesting.

In conclusion it was a mixed evening with some good songs, few face palms, and a, to me,  rather incomprehensible winner. So yes nice simple songs were rejected in favour of a woman making chicken noises. So about normal for this show.

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I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.

***

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