Because I live alone I spend a lot of time alone. And so today I have decided to come to a cafe to write this blog entry. Sitting in a cafe on a table by myself is still alone but it is alone with people around me so it is less alone than being at home. There is something nice about not being in your own space once in a while. Perhaps it is being able to look at the groups of people. Perhaps it is that a home has so many distractions it is so easy to think that I should be doing something else.
I have apps for various cafe’s and I picked the one where I had got a voucher! It seemed like a good idea considering this month is a long month – in terms of pay it is five weeks – and I am not the best at managing money.
I have made a change to my work schedule that I hope will make things easier for me. I will now have Sunday and Monday as my days off – the downside is I have to work every Saturday but the up side is that I get a weekend of sorts. This makes planning easier – if I need a Doctor’s appointment put it on a Monday.
Other areas of planning a still difficult and I think that it is a challenge that will always be with me. At the moment I feel okay. I feel somewhat hopeful it is difficult to put a word to me feelings.
I often wish for a more normal mind – a mind that doesn’t get nervous at the slightest provocation but that is not the mind I have. I have a mind that gets nervous and worried for no reason – thus when there is a reason I can miss it.
Well my drink is finished which may mean I need to leave shortly. I had a Spiced Chai, I nearly always have that, and it was most enjoyable. There vary quite a bit between cafes but this one was nice.
I may be feeling a vague sense of hope for the future at the moment but there are always the dark moments.
There are also the yawning moments – I seem to be very tired now despite seemingly getting enough sleep last night. I guess it wasn’t enough.
I hope you enjoyed this post. I am still getting into the year and trying to see what is what – it appears to be taking a while. See you next time.
I just wanted to say that I have checked this post. I really have. Unfortunately my particular combination of dyslexia and dyspraxia makes it really hard for me to spot typos. Please enjoy and I’ll try not to make too many errors.
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I have a tendency to be rather negative. This is a problem I have. This is a problem I need to deal with. This is a problem I don’t quite know how to deal with.
worth it if it meant never having to feel bad.
both in reality and in our own minds. Thus taking a few minutes to stop and not think can surely only be beneficial. With the caveat if you’re in a car heading off a cliff you might want to try turning away.
By the time you read this I will have returned from my holiday. I hope that I will feel refreshed and a bit better about myself.
Naturally writing is my dream. I can’t imagine not doing it. At times it is infuriating; when the image so clearly in my mind is so hard to translate into these little inefficient squiggles. At times it is annoying: when I don’t know something and have to get passed the 20th page on a Google search or find an expert. And sometimes I realise that the thing I need to know is something I will never understand.
Mental health. I have talked about this before on this blog and I dare say I will again. I know that this is a topic that is everywhere these days. And I know that sometimes the response is to ‘suck it up’ – or may be even a sentence that begins with the words ‘In my day…’
that this happened to a neighbour of hers…
Unstable Orbit 